Weight Loss- The Challenge

So. I decided that I want to lose 20lbs by the end of the year..doable goal, but I still have some doubts about it. For one the fact I haven't completly outlined how I'm going to achieve this goal.

Yeah, I've gotten inspired by the different celebrities, friends, and youtube guru's i see post videos or pictures about their success for weightloss but for me its just not that urgent. i mean i still feel beautiful, the guy i talk to loves my body, and i have no serious health problems minus the fact i'm a bit overweight. to be honest i lose weight without trying which is crazy because i eat like a pig at school eating the late night snacks and burger king almost daily but since i walk to class kind of made some pounds go away. i don't weigh myself.. i'm not crazy about that either. honestly, the only reason i want to lose weight is to have a pretty body that i can feel comfortable in a bathing suite with that's the only time i really feel self conciuos about my body.i love my curves and not that i'm at this point of loving my body its hard for me to realize i have to lose at least some weight to get healthy and not be tired from walking up 4 flights of stairs, but hey it is what it is right? hopefully something clicks soon but until then take a look at jordin sparks amazing body she's the only celeb that use to be tall and thick that i think looks this good just my opinion.. :)

Wish List :)

Forever 21 plus wish list

Jhene Aiko

Jhene Aiko's new mixtape entitled "Sailing souls" is by far one of the most amazing r&b mixtapes I have heard in quite a long time. I personally have been a fan of Jhene since I was 16 singing her song N.O.L.O.V.E. and "Wait" as my first two singing youtube videos. Her angelic voice and honest attitude is what instantly gravitated me to her in the first place, and after hearing Sailing Souls has made me a lifetime fan. Honestly, every single song placed on this mixtape is a master piece and to say that I haven't listened to it constantly since the day I downloaded it would be a complete and utter lie. What I really love is the fact that Jhene not only sings, but also writes her own music and is very transparent and real with her fans. She's even been known to give her screenname out to fans just to talk to them and that's what I love the most about her. Her honesty, her realness, her unapologetic mindset to life... the way that she sees life is beautiful and she constantly depicts it through out her music. I love that! So often, there are artist out there who are not well round as a artist that they lose me from that. Jhene Aiko though makes me feel like she's so personal with her music, and she really is an inspiration. I had already been speaking of how I needed to write more, but her lyrics and her voice being so different the way mines is inspired me to continue with my music. I love her that's all and if you have not downloaded her new mixtape feel free to do so!!

Click her official website to download her new mixtape http://jheneaiko.com/

P.S. if i have to choose which songs i love the most off her mixtape it is "space jam" "you vs. them" , "stranger" and "sailing NOT selling" :)

Lonely

Well, i'm back after a very very very long going away party i threw for myself (not really) but i remembered my password praise God and now I can write more. I have tumblr but that's more so for my fashion side of life and Idk this will be a marriage of both. I'm going to totally revamp my blogspot to be exactly what I want it to be and more. For my youtube subscribers or my friends that just want to see what I'm going to say next which seems to be and enjoyable thing. I'm going to try really really hard to update more, but without further blabbing about how i'm back and patting myself on the back for remembering i have this thing under a yahoo email (lame, i know i'm going to change it heres the latest that's going on with me....

Well, the first thing I can say is I am totally totally not in a good mood. I feel like crying to be completely honest..why you may ask? i'm still feeling alone..so incredibly alone.. Everything I've tried to do to escape this feeling never seems to work. The so called friends that I had last year are long gone and the guys I started hanging with now seem to have their own thing going for themseleves. Honestly, I feel like the only people that care about me are my parents. I have no friends that really give a dang about me here. or anywhere for that matter. I keep to myself really really bad here. I'm always by myself, because no one ever calls to ask me to hang out. no one ever ask to see how i'm doing.. i always feel like i'm the one reaching out to be to hanging out with me... and there are some girls that i have met via twitter from my school that are similar to me, but i'm so reluctant to go into a girl friendship again so when schedules conflict i just feel like its some mysterious sign from God that she doesn't need to be someone i really apply time and effort into. Honestly, i can't say i have a best friend at my school... not one... especially not a girl friend that is someone i can call and say i'm coming over in 5 minutes and getcho a double snakes up because i need to talk.. nah i don't have anyone like that.. its quite lonely actually.. its very depressing and the fact that i don't have friends really upsets me.. i'm such a bubbly, outgoing person that to not have someone that i can call my best friend or a true friend for that matter bothers me like no other. i'm sure most people take for granted the fact that they have someone they can call up and share their issues with, their happiness, funny stories whatever.

and to be honest...i feel like if i had that i would enjoy my college experience way more. like its crazy i have so many girl friends in all my classes that i talk to but after class i'm back to being at home in my room alone. i don't even look forward to the weekends anymore because i know they will consist of me being in my room.. going to the library.. or eating away my money. i hate this... i thought after last year being friends with those girls would be the end of me feeling this way, but after egos got into the way of friendship i have no one to shed tears or smiles with. some would suggest i get a boyfriend but that's not even a good idea. i really can't even be in a relationship at this point either. the guy that was interest in me was a bust he's always so busy and never has time for me. he never called me and barley text me. i'm just completly over tennessee and wish that at least i had cable televison and the sumpter house hold to comfort me when i feel like this. *sigh* what a way to come back to a blog. but at least i'm back right?!?

I haven't written a thing in here forever.

Mainly because I completly forgot my password (I know I SUCK) but I'm going to get my life back on track since I have Christmas break and so much time on my hands. So, I'm just trying to update you guys on life and also throw some Christmas ideas/things I want soon. Ha, but for right now I'm having a lovely chat with my mom and sister about guys (boo) so I'm going to tune into this and I'll update later...

I hope I don't forget my password again! HAHA.

love you,

bri

sometimes i want to just change.

sometimes i want to change.

there's tons of things i wish i could change about myself.

and sometimes i feel like if i just wrote them all out i could just get it together.

so ill make this list and check them off when i feel like things get better :)

- I wish I was smarter.

No bull I really am not as smart as I look. Okay, maybe I don't look that smart but I'm totally uninterested in things that don't affect my world which is so selfish. I don't look at the news because it scares me and gives me bad dreams but i feel like i should be more aware of it. I sometimes wish I was just brillant and had some urge to learn. The best thing I can do that I'm semi good at is writing. I've always been pretty good at that but the whole all around knowing politics, getting straight A's and making deans list. has never been me. but i'm going to change it. trust me :)

-I wish I was thinner.

This may come to a shock to many people but there are still parts of my body that I wish so badl y were smaller. Number one is my thighs and hips all of that but i have no ass. SHAME! i wish my size was one number instead of two so i could easily find clothes for cheaper prices and get my belly button pierced. as dumb as that sounds that's really the only reason.. that and to be able to go swimming with a future boyfriend and not feel like i have to wear a huge shirt or wear my dress all the way to the pool until i feel comforotable to take it off and get in the water.

-I wish I had some type of drive.

All day long I see people on twitter tweeting about the things they are doing or events they are having. I honestly wish I had a hustler mentailty i kinda just do things to get by. I know that I can do better and I'm hoping to change it but I haven't done anything productive. My resume is very short and I really can't even say I bring anything to the table if anyone was looking to hire me or bring me on as a leader of any type of group. I have no drive unless it's something I'm asking for.. Like a new ___ whatever... My drive for my career should be better but i know I'll have a back up and that my parents know people that could at least give me a job that I could survive off of so I don't worry too much over it.

- I wish I knew how to take care of me

I'm some what independant but not really. My mom does everything for me and I honestly take it for granted sometimes. I honestly EXPECT her to do it. Like my FASFA she does, anything dealing with school... she does.. everything she does and my Dad def is right there beside her helping me too I wish I could be independant and not so nervous to do every little thing alone.

-I wish I were more known around school...

I know this sounds like high school things but i really do wish i knew more people and networked more. I feel like there's like the "cool" black kids and i kinda circle on the outer part looking in. The crazy thing is I can spot the "cool" kids from a far at my school I know all of them. See them every where strolling, in the KUC, connecting with eachother. I 'm not that kid. I'm the kid that dresses cute, cool ass personality, and keeps to myself unless with a crowd. The crazy thing is I'm aware of the "cool" socialite kids and for some reason i think they are aware of me because..they add me on damn facebook and twitter... ahah. its weird maybe we're both thinking the others cool and don't know what to do about our uncoolness factor.

-I wish I could get him back

The one i let get away....... that's all i'll say about that

- I wish i wasn't so needy

Self explantory. but extremly fuckin dumb why the heck do i feel it neccesary to talk to my signifgant other every moment of the day....

-I wish I didn't let my past affect me...

I wish I just didn't let things like not trusting from a previous relationship move into the ones i will have.. but i know it will...

-I wish I didn't compare myself to others..

especially girls that have similarities to me but seemingly do things so much better then me :/

Fashion Icons.

My fashion icons are... Rihanna and Angela Simmons.

Everyone loves them number one! But i love the edgy looks they have.

Def taking some cues from them into my new wardrobe :)

ps: i LOVE riri's newest edition to her tat family! so adorable!

xo,

Bri