break up.

well, it's over.

just like i expected to hear. . . "you can't say this was over sex. . . it wasn't . . but i need affection and everytime i try to pull you in you pull away as if your mind and body are with someone else"

hm. . . is there truth to this statement that my ex made through a text message he sent basically telling me that what i wanted was a friendship and not a intimate relationship. . . sidenote: why are people breaking up through text messages now. . sorry at least give me a phone call and let me down easily. . . .

but anyways. . .

is there truth to that statement? NO! i just don't want to have sex and he's very rough and touchy feely and i guess i feel like he's always expecting it to go down that path but it's not and you can't even say it wasn't because honestly. . . what am i suppose to think when your reaching for a places you don't belong just because we're kissing. . .

tmi? whatever this is honesty. . . .

i don't wanna have sex! and if the guy i'm with is even giving some type of feelings towards the fact that it may not work because of that then i can't be with them.. because they will ALWAYS be unhappy with me and i won't fall for that shit anymore. . sorry did it before and it won't happen again. . . i'm a people pleaser and if that's not going to happen to me again SORRY.. . . .

needless to say today i've been very distant with my family and i haven't even told them we broke up. . . i hate having to explain again why the hell another relationship didn't work out the way it was suppose to. i mean this summer i've talked to Anthony the whole time but before me and him got on a talking realtionship there was Jordan. . . Oh Jordan . . -sigh- that didn't work out but not because of similar circumstances. . . i guess i need a break from men period.

i always get so wrapped up in my boyfriend and having a relationship and wanting to talk to them every second of the day that i've lost who i am. . .

i'm on a search to figure out why God put me on this earth in the first place? I don't know what i have to offer... that's a whole nother blog but idk what i'm even great at. . .

ugh whatever.

anyways i'll talk to you love later!

promise i'll make a fashion post soon :)